


I Am A Walking Work Of Art

by Snow



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Movie Star, Community: au_bingo, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-24
Updated: 2010-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-10 06:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snow/pseuds/Snow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate Universe.  The Doctor (Six) is a movie star, and Peri is his assistant.  She really doesn't like his coat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am A Walking Work Of Art

**Author's Note:**

> Written for au_bingo, for the square Other: Celebrities.

"Just, look, they'd forgive you faster if you'd smile sometimes." Peri handed the Doctor a piece of paper.

His frown deepened as he looked at it. He handed it back to her, and used his now free hands to straighten his coat. Even after working for him for two months, Peri still winced every time she saw it. "What is this supposed to be?"

"Your schedule for the day. We're already running half an hour late. Which probably means you'll have to skip the first talk show. Be extra charming on the second to make up for it."

The Doctor grimaced at her, which Peri thought was completely uncalled for. She was just doing the job he'd hired her for. "I don't do charming," he said, which was fair enough. He really didn't. "If I start being charming, people will be muttering about how I've clearly relapsed and have been doing heroin again. Which, for the record, I have not."

"I'm aware of that." Peri handed him the schedule again. "However, even celebrities like you need to make a living, most notably so you can pay me. Talk shows drive up movie sales. Which drive up your salary, which means I can continue to put money in my retirement fund and you can eventually be rid of me."

"Compelling reasoning. My driver ready?"

"Of course. Shall we?" The Doctor followed her to the limousine, which he'd ordered painted blue and referred to as the TARDIS for reasons neither his staff nor his fans understood. Then again, his fans were used to incomprehension when it came to his personal life. Peri was pretty sure it was part of his appeal which, as far as she was concerned, made them all insane. Her own excuse was that he was paying her very well.

Peri spent the drive reminding the Doctor of the details of the movie was starring in that came out on Saturday, just in case he'd forgotten them. He didn't seem to appreciate the thought, but it wasn't like he actually appreciated _anything_ she did. "You going to remind me of my mother's maiden name next?"

Peri snorted. "Sometimes I doubt you even had a mother. You seem to have just sprung fully formed, wearing that dreadful coat."

"There is _nothing_ wrong with my coat."

This being an argument she definitely did not want to get into, Peri attempted to change the subject. "Traffic's moving pretty fast this morning, we might be early enough to the studio that you can grab a cup of coffee." She freely admitted that her attempt sucked, but the Doctor wasn't precisely an easy man to talk to.

"My coat is an important part of my image." He also wasn't very agreeable to the idea of subject changing to save face. "I bet that half my fans are because of my coat. My 'rainbow coat of awesome' as I believe TMZ called it."

Peri snorted. "They're just trying to coerce you into saying that you're gay. You have fans because you're actually, against all odds, a decent actor. The coat is just," she waved her arms, "affectation."

His eyes narrowed. "Prove it."

"I can't prove it, you're the one who chooses to wear the damn thing."

"Then I won't. For a period of one week, I will not wear my coat. And we will see how many fans I have left when this is over."

"One month." If Peri could pull this off she'd probably get the employee of the month parking spot. Not that she owned a car, or that such a spot existed, but it was the thought that counted. That and the fact that she'd get to live a month without being blinded by her employer's outfit.

"A week or nothing."

"Deal." As Peri watched, he actually took off the dreadful garment. He was wearing a fairly sensible brown polo underneath, which Peri didn't think was his usual, but she couldn't actually recall much about his outfit beyond the coat.

* * *

"Well?" The Doctor was fiddling with the sleeves of the coat he held in his hand, clearly itching to put it on again.

With a sigh, Peri handed him the PR report for the last week.

"I knew it."

Peri _could_ point out that the low opening ticket sales were more a result of the fact that the supporting actress had been hired simply because she was the director's daughter, not because she could actually act, but the fact was that half the articles about the Doctor that had come out in the last week were about his lack of rainbow coat. Not a one of them had reacted positively. A few had suggested that this kind of mature decision-making would signal the death knell for his career. Peri sighed again. "Yes, you were right. Please, feel free to gloat."

"I don't need to gloat." For a wonderful second Peri let herself believe that he actually meant that, and then she realized that the coat he was holding wasn't his size at all. His own coat was hanging over the back of his chair. The one he held was smaller, and looked more like it would fit her.

"Oh no," she said. "That was not the agreement."

"Then let's make one that includes it. I'll double your salary."

Peri blinked, and took half a second to weigh her dignity against, well, the amount of money he was offering. "Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> I welcome and appreciate comments, including constructive criticism.


End file.
